tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

(via snapes)

289,481 notes

#i love this post

What I love about episode seven and Raúl’s performance is that he’s comic relief. And Raúl is aware that coming into this world, [his] purpose is comic relief. How he navigated that and the scene where he’s saying, “I’ve got a partially eaten man in my guest room and corpses on the property, and you threw up an ear,” is sort of embracing the absurdity of the situation and winking at the audience and saying, “We know. It’s over the top. We’re having fun. Come with us.” (x)

(via liminal-zone)

5,555 notes

#chilton

#hannibal

Death is not the worst. There are things more horrible than death.

(via reversehalos)

2,795 notes

#vampires

  • (We’re taking a calculus final. The TA is a well-known Lord of the Rings fan, and we’ve had running LotR jokes all semester.)
  • TA: “Okay, guys, everyone look at me. We’ve been over the rules, but just in case: no notes, pencil your answers in on the scantron sheet, and graphing calculators only – no more ‘can I just used my cell phone’ nonsense.”
  • Student: “[TA's name], my calculator batteries just died! What should I do?”
  • TA: “Here, I’ve got a big box of spares.”
  • Student: *struggling* “I can’t get this packaging open…”
  • Student 2: “Here, I’ve got a pocket knife.”
  • TA: “And I’ve got a pair of scissors if you need them.”
  • Student 3: *from the back of the room* “OR MY AXE!”
  • (Everyone starts laughing.)
  • TA: “The only axes allowed on the exam are in the graph section.”
  • (Everyone groans.)
  • TA: “Oh, come on, you’re in a math class. Deal with the math jokes.”
  • (The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)
  • Professor: “Tolkien jokes already, [TA's name]?”
  • TA: “Hey, I didn’t start it.”
  • (The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)
  • Professor: “But I’m about to finish it. [TA], take these exams down the left flank. [Proctor 1], follow the desks down the center. [Proctor 2], take your exams right, along the wall.”
  • (At this point, many of the students have realized where this is going: Theoden’s lines from ‘Return of the King.’)
  • Professor: “Forth, and fear no problems! Solve! Solve, students of calculus! Points shall be taken, scores shall be splintered! A pencil day! A red-ink day! Until three thirty!”
  • (The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)
  • Professor: “Solve now! Solve now! Solve to good grades and the class ending! MAAATH!”
  • Entire Class: “MAAATH!”
  • Professor: “MAAAAATH!”
  • Entire Class: “MAAAAAATH!”
  • Professor: “Forth, exam-takers!”
  • (The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)
  • Professor: *at the end of the email* “PS: I appreciate all of you who wrote in their evaluations that I was the one professor to rule them all, but the best one yet was the student who called me ‘Mathrandir.’”

33,683 notes

#fucking NERDS omg

You ain’t gotta worry, it’s an open invitation, I’ll be sittin’ right here, real patient. All day, all night, I’ll be waitin’ standby, Can’t stop because I love it, hate the way I love you All day, all night, maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.

(via selenadaily)

2,614 notes

#vampire princess selena gomez

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